Recovery And Acceptance:
I would like to encourage you to look at the overall picture I have painted for my life, my wife and family as well as the incredible pain and wreckage I have reaped. If I can step back and look at the destructive path my tornado has left, I can better understand it when my wife and family get distant or show raw emotion about my stuff. I know on an intellectual level that I deserve this, yet the inner pain I feel is sometimes too much. I have come to the part of acceptance, realizing that I am the instigator of all this raw emotion as well as the main perpetrator. I am looking to find the way to freedom through correct decisions, hoping I can be different, working towards an understanding of my past and how it affects those that Love me as I try to always put them first. I have found solace in always asking what I can better do today to help my wife have a better day, help her with anything I can as well as how to make better decisions today.
I have learned that praying, asking God what I can do to have a better understanding of Him as well as trying to have a better outlook with a positive attitude. I have come to believe recovery looks better from a position of being Sober. This is a fact that in giving up the old bad behavior has released me from all the crap I felt all my life and I found some sort of inner peace in this effort. I will pray for all my brothers and sisters that are still struggling with this sad fact.
I have found that Life did not actually revolve around just me and my little world of neediness. After I finally pulled my Head out to see there is more to life, love and the pursuit of happiness than satisfying my desires at this moment in time. I am learning everyday that humility and humbleness, although these are a little foreign to me, that this is a great fact. I willingly put my efforts in helping my wife, working towards a better closeness with my God and trying to help others.
I hope others will join us, the fallen, as well as the hurt, to walk with us, join hands with us, pray with us to better understand the life that God has given to us. I hope and pray that true redemption will be there for me if I work on my walk with Him, my helping others, my reaching out to be there for others when they are in need. I will be praying for you and hope you will join me as I walk in life.
Wayne
My spouse, cheated, been unfaithful, had an affair, committed adultery or brought infidelity into our marriage. Say it anyway you want. He has deceived me, lied to me. After his sexual unfaithfulness and sex addiction I have rebuilt my marriage, my life, my world. There is Hope for healing after such betrayal and judgment. Self Worth and Relationships can be restored.
"For Better or Worse"
Beginning-November 26, 1988
Four Generations
Me, My Granddaughter Emilie Jo, My Mother, My Daughter Patti
Me, My Granddaughter Katelyn, My Mother, My Daughter Jessica
HELPFUL LINKS
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3 comments:
I am just so exhausted - emotionally, spiritually, financially and physically. I can't get my head around this. Walking out and going 10 weeks with NOT ONE WORD to his wife of 24 yrs. is unexplainable. I pray God will allow me to hear His voice and see the direction He wants me to go. I need so much prayer it isn't even possible to formulate the right request. God knows my needs and they are enormous. If I could I would fast forward right out of this mess. I am grateful to Our Lord and Saviour that some betrayers "get it" and some will find healing and restoration and true redemption at the foot of the Cross and for their marriages. If God said, "I will not give Way and Kat healing if I cannot also give it to you and your husband." Given the choice, I would say "No -- give them healing and restoration Lord." One Victory, even if it is not mine or my children's is a victory against Satan, and I will take any Victory against the enemy God will give me. In the name of Jesus I demand Satan into the pits of hell where he belongs and declare in the Lord's name protection over me, my husband and my children. I will fight this battle until God says either Enough ... you can stop fighting for your husband, let him go. Or I hear where God wants me to go. Hurting in Texas
I will also pray for you and your children. I will also be praying for your husbands release from his prison, his behavior, Satan and his jaws. Thanks for your comment to my posting. I will also pray for my wife's healing as her's is a tough journey as well.
Wayne
Please read my post on avoidance as I see it relates to spouses who can not see what they have created and how much pain they have inflicted on their spouses.
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